Brands that get dads...

Not to sound too much like a commercial, but it is in fact an Easy Decision for this dad when it comes to choosing brands that get me.    

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Manly Tears and Movember

Once, possibly twice, during my first three months of parenthood I found myself huddled in my home office, secretly and somewhat reluctantly shedding a tear in the dark.  A very dignified and manly tear that is.  The kind that well up and gloss over just the bottom half of the eye before stoically leaping from the eye like a Red Bull cliff diver descending in a super quick, unquestionably deliberate, straight line down the cheek, never to be seen again.  (Denzel Washington did it in Glory, I last did it in 1986 when Optimus Prime died after battling Megatron).   

Well, this tear was brought on by a combination of things.  My newborn's consistent, piercing screams, the unexpected disagreements with her mother on what to do during those times, my guilt for the occasional "bad" thought many parents have felt at some time but rarely admit and my unconquerable writer’s block.  I remember wondering if I was "depressed a little".  I had been feeling this way for longer than I cared to admit and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.  And as a man I didn't necessarily know what to do except secretly cry in the dark.  

It wasn't until we were at CJ's first checkup after giving birth to our daughter that I even thought about my manly tear incident again.  Typically at this appointment women all over the country are asked to fill out the Edinburgh Depression Scale to find out if their experiencing "signs or symptoms associated with postpartum depression."  After reading the questions I started uncomfortably laughing a bit because as she was answering them I began to feel like someone should be asking me the same questions.  Now I realize I didn't have to carry or give birth to a 7lb human being but I have been there from day one and every day since the baby was born.  It's not like the consistent shrieks and cries of an inconsolable baby or the physically and emotionally draining late nights and resulting sleep deprivation were her's to experience alone.  (My journey to becoming a ninja father started at conception.  I'm hands on.  That’s been my choice). So yes I was up with her helping out (and suffering just the same) as much as I could through all of those early tests of parenthood.  And maybe it wasn't postpartum depression I was experiencing but something was going on inside of me.  The first three months are one of those stages where I do believe certain mothers are better equipped than fathers to withstand the irritability of their newborn.  CJ didn’t seem to be as emotionally affected as I was. 

So when CJ was filling out the form I decided to make a column for myself next to her's so I could answer the questions too.  We went in and I of course made light of my little “cry for help” that manifested itself in the form of a drawn in column on a postpartum questionnaire and so she laughed a little too, we all laughed and then we got back to focusing on CJ.            

Men's mental health is rarely discussed and almost taboo in some scenarios.  This is another reason for why I have shaved my face and started to grow a mustache this month to raise awareness and funds for the Movember movement.  For the past ten years, the movement has raised funds and awareness to combat Prostate and Testicular Cancer.  Movember has since brilliantly added mental health to this already impressive slate of men's health issues that it successfully battles. Please help Movember to keep fighting the good fight to keep men healthy and sane – donate at HTTP://MOBRO.CO/JAMESMAHAFFEY.

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Cj's Edinburgh postnatal depression scale.  The higher the score the closer the person is to being considered depressed. CLICK the pic to enlarge.

This could have been avoided.  

Donate here HTTP://MOBRO.CO/JAMESMAHAFFEY

Bad Girls remix

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Sex, Spice and Acupressure?

Currently I have a few friends that are expecting their first child in the upcoming months.  And so I decided to write this post about the final hours leading up to my significant other's water breaking.  Keep in mind she was determined to deliver our first child with her doctor.  

TUESDAY

Tuesday of that week our doctor told us she was scheduled to deliver babies at our hospital that Thursday and that if we wanted to deliver with her (and not with some other doctor we've never met) it would need to happen Thursday.  We went home and begin to make a plan.  We heard the rumors that having sex, walking or eating spicy foods could help induce labor.  So we tried all three and none seemed to work.  

WEDNESDAY

By Wednesday evening there were still no signs of her water breaking.  So I went online and looked up other methods to "induce labor".   I quickly came across a video that claimed it could help you induce labor with acupressure.  So we watched the video together and I performed the simple moves on her hands and ankles.  She sat on my lap and we went back to watching movie trailers on the computer (one of my favorite past times.)  Well what do you know?  Within 20-30 minutes her water broke while sitting on my lap.  This was Wednesday night.  

So we went to sleep because we wanting to labor at home as much as possible, woke up the next morning (Thursday) and she delivered the baby at 7:30pm that night with her doctor. Mind you she was also politely notified by the wonderful nurses who had been assisting with her labor that their shift was ended at 7:30pm and that a new set of nurses would be coming in then.  And she very quickly delivered before the 7:30 deadline.  So maybe this story is really about my S.O.'s mind-body control.   True story.

This is why I MO!

To the left is my family.  Taking care of myself is one way I take care of them.  This is why I "Mo" during the month of Movember.  I've committed my face to the Movember movement and will be growing a moustache for the entire month to raise funds and awareness for men's health.  Now it takes me a long time to grow facial hair so this could take awhile.  But if you'll laugh with me along the way for 30 days I'll join thousands of other men around the world who are very visibly raising awareness and funds by prompting private and public conversations about men’s health-- prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men, as well as mental health issues like depression, anxiety, psychosis, and schizophrenia.

I’d like you to support me as I fight the good fight.  You can donate to my moustache by:

1. Donating online at HTTP://MOBRO.CO/JAMESMAHAFFEY
2. Writing a check to 'Movember', referencing my registration ID: 6675433 and mailing it to: Movember US, P.O. Box 1595, Culver City, CA 90232

OR

Go to Our Team Page to Sign-Up or Contribute 

Your donation will support world-class men’s health programs that combat prostate and testicular cancer.

These programs, directed by the Movember Foundation, are focused on awareness and education, living with and beyond cancer, and research to achieve our vision of an everlasting impact on the face of men’s health. 

To find out more, visit the programs section of Movember’s website: HTTP://US.MOVEMBER.COM/PROGRAMS

Thanks for supporting Movember and helping me change the face of men's health.

James Mahaffey 

 

Pest problem?!

My daughter occasionally likes to wear her halloween costume from last year.  And hell why not?  I would too if I had a cool costume.  And on this particular day she insisted on showing me her newest accomplishment.

"Sweet Caroline"Red sox, game 1, ALCS 2013

"All you do..."

A vlog about one man's journey into fatherhood presented by Tangible Transmedia.

Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt)  #FellowNinja  

"Episode 2: Freedom"

Thank you to Tommy and the rest of staff at Little Groove for the great music classes.  http://www.babywiggle.com/boston.html

-thirst-

Fruitvale Station

It is my belief that fathers are some of the most influential men on the planet.  And this story focuses on a dedicated, loving father with a troubled past.  This is a true and tragic tale told well by young director Ryan Coogler.  It had great acting by Michael B. Jordan and was made with a modest budget of less than a $1m.    I can't say anything further about the film without spoiling it.  Just know that it's worth seeing and supporting now while it's in the theaters.  If you're like me and crave good filmmaking this is one way to reward it's practice.    

Click the image to view the trailer.   

W T F

This morning was a pleasant one up until this point.  In typical fashion I headed to the fridge to make her a bottle before making her morning oatmeal.  After grabbing the milk from the fridge (on the way to the counter) the suicidal milk carton brushed my thigh, jumped out of my hands, and spilled it's full worth onto the ground (%$#)!  Why this sucks..

1) It's the beginning of the day and now I have a pretty substantial clean up on my hands.  Not a fun way to start our morning.  1A) Plus I needed to continue to prepare her food while keeping an impatient and inevitably thirsty munchkin happy. 

2) The realization that this floor will now require a full wipe down with the "special" cleaner for hardwoods. 

3) Organic milk is not cheap but still a very necessary substitute considering all the rBGH and other chemicals that are now found in "regular" milk. 

4) I need to change my right sock. 

In the end this spill was #NotNinjaLike at all. 

Organic milk vs. Regular milk

Watching the rain..

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Ninja Protocol"

Let me begin today's post by first stating that I am not a doctor... however I do play one at home.     

With that being said let’s talk about consuming spinach and other leafy greens while pregnant.  When I found out my Significant Other (SO) was pregnant I immediately took a leadership role in her food preparation and nutrition regiment.  For one, I am a worry wort when it comes to health issues.  And instead of simply worrying about birth defects and labor issues I instead put that time and energy into educating myself to find out what I could do to create a healthy environment for my child and her mother to ensure the best possible start to our new lives together.  That's #ninja protocol.  The fact that I was already the chef of the house and preparing ninety percent of the meals didn't hurt either.  And most importantly I made a decision at the very beginning that for me, fatherhood would begin during pregnancy and not once the baby arrived.  More #ninja protocol.  Proper nutrition and maintaining a healthy lifestyle have always been a staple in my parents life and they instilled that practice of healthy living in me.  

So as you probably know almost all women begin taking folic acid pills during pregnancy but in my opinion a pill alone (although convenient) cannot replace the food that was designed by mother nature (spinach, kale, enriched grains) to effectively deliver the necessary nutrients to our body naturally, efficiently, organically.  If you ever want to know how we as a species should be eating simply look at animals in their natural habitat.  Dr. Mark Hyman (a real physician) explains the important difference between taking a manmade and sometimes unpredictable molecule such as B9 as opposed to natural leafy greens in the first link below.   So besides taking your folic acid pills women should also be consuming plenty of leafy greens, especially spinach.  It’s a superfood and cannot be replaced entirely by a pill engineered in a laboratory.  Also take care in preparing your vegetables properly.  Overcooking vegetables to the point that they fade in color and lose their firmness dramatically reduces their nutritional worth.  The links below talk specifically about how spinach and other foods greatly reduce the risk of birth defects and in some cases autism.   

Ensuring the mother of your child maintains a healthy lifestyle with proper diet and exercise is ninja protocol at it's finest.  Which meant I was on my way to becoming a ninja...  

Dr. Hyman's wisdom on vitamins and food.

The awesomeness of spinach.

Importance of Folic Acid.

Folic acid and Autism.

Getting the most nutrition from your veggies.

"I'm not a ninja."

A little more than a year ago, my first and only child was born.  I recall her mother telling me: “You need to be quieter.  Close the bedroom door without making any noise and don’t scuff your feet or you'll wake the baby.”  Our little girl lay asleep in her bed not more than six feet away on the other side of this often creaky door.  I remember my whispered reply as I gently pulled the door closed: “I’m not a ninja.”  But apparently, my best attempt at being quiet was not enough.  And so begins my story.

Or shall I say, our journey…